what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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