Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
