Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
is wine microwaveable?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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