somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
