i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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