butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
