How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Come share oat with me in your robe
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
