How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Randomize
