I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
ugly people sure do ruin things
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
