The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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