Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
