please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
