Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
