every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
