we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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