What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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