"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My breath smells like gin and sadness
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
