I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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