I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
