You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
