He is an equal opportunity slut.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
