if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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