and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize