you guys were way drunker than both of me
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
