Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize