His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
