Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
