now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
