I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
