I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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