But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
