I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
