You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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