She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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