I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
