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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  this is a time for prayers...seriously

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.

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• (315): View more from New York

  That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"

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• (518): View more from New York

  I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.

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• (914): View more from New York

  What are you wearing tonight?

  (510): View more from California

  The colors of the winddddddd

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.

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• (772): View more from Florida

  22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).

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