Swine flu. Run for my life!
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
