i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
