Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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