i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
