My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
