It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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