i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Define "chronic" masturbator.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
