Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
