Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
