Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just googled if crying burns calories
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize