Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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