I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize