Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
