I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
