Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
