Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
