so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
