So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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