the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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