i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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