And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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