There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize