I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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