but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
