I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Randomize
